this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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