Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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