I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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