Kiss
Puke
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
