Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
