Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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