.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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