return my video game
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize