you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
