I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
The Olympian is in my bed
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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