it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
