are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
