just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I have so many feelings about this burrito
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
