the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
