can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
