Just mADE A PArabola og urine
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
