we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
