If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
it's great music for shaving your balls
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
