Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
