he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
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You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
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She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize