I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
