i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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