Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
