after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
