Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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