New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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