Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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