It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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