i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
i now understand why vodka
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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