Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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