just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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