My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
are you so shy because you have an std?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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