What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
