This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
