i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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