Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize
