don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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