i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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