I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
