Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
