I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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