It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
