Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(719): View more from Colorado

never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?

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(865): View more from Tennessee

It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again

(443): View more from Maryland

I hate when that happens

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water

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(314): View more from Missouri

Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."

(1-704): View more from North Carolina

was his pinky out?

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(973): View more from New Jersey

the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed

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