dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
