Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
