Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
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She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
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I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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