apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize