Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
