Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? ðŸ˜‚ðŸ˜‚