hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary