when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
