so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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