I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
