"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
