i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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