Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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