i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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