i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
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while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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